Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
