Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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