This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
