ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize
