dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
