So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
