i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
