I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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