I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
