please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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