i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize