You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize