im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
