scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
