hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
