You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
