why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize