Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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