I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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