I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
