My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
