FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
