I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
