She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
