it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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