Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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