omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
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