Nicole vs. Life
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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