id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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