i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Someone shit on the floor
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
