I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
