is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Boobs are out for the taking
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
