Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
