he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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