You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
