Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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