He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
