i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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