They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
