I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
whose parrot is this?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
