when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
