but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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