yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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