What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
