Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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