i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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