but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize