is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
