Me too!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
