ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
