if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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