Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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