is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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