it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
