I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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