We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
