I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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