I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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