i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
