i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
