i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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