Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
