I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize