So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is her dick bigger than yours?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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