I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize