Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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