i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
