new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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