Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
